Here I am, trapped again. I count on you for those little hits of dopamine, only to be sorely hurled back into reality. I thought I could count on you to shield me, maybe for just a bit longer each time, until I could leave reality behind. But you throw me back into the flames; the one person I rely on is no more.
Isn’t it funny.
How we think we’ve grown up, or become cynical, or lost that naivete, but we still cling onto hope - that there will be some grand moment where someone will prove us wrong. They will come running after us and restore our faith in all. That feeling never quite goes away, even as time passes, and the universe proves us wrong, wrong, wrong again. And so, we withdraw a little, telling ourselves “never again”, only to be sorely disappointed the one more time (or maybe a few more).